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My plan is to update the blog with thoughts from the first trip to court and then post some thoughts as a full-time mom from the second trip. This first post is something I wrote on the plane ride back to America...so Im going to start at the end and work my way back. Sorry for the confusion! But I really wanted to share this first.

As I rode in the van for the last time in Addis, I looked at the children we passed on the street. Would Larkin be a student on the way to school or a beggar selling gum to a van full of tourists. Would he be a child at the church praying for healing or moving donkeys through traffic on the street?

He will be none of these things because he is my child. He will not walk the streets of Addis in search of food each day. As his mother, all his needs will be provided. I cry tears of joy at the fact that I dont have to worry if he was fed or if he has clean clothes. From this day forward, I can witness this for myself.

Gone are the days of putting myself first. Gone are the times where I can just throw a bag in the car and stay gone for a week. But I am not sad that these days are over. I am overjoyed that I have someone else to provide for. I am thrilled that I can share my family, friends, and life with my child. I am elated that Larkin has become a part of an amazing group that I call my family, even if we dont all have the same parents.

From this day forward, I am no longer just Shay Sanderson. I am Larkin's mom, and hopefully his hero!